Dirty Jokes That Seem Innocent To Kids (r/AskReddit)

  • Publicado el Hace un mes

    Updoot EverythingUpdoot Everything

    duración: 12:24

    Fresh AskReddit Stories: --- What joke is clean when told to a child, but dirty when told to an adult? LIKE AND I WILL UPLOAD MORE REDDIT STORIES!
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    Music: Kevin MacLeod
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Crystal Meyers
Crystal Meyers

Not sure it counts, since it's not dirty. But from the 1990 TMNT movie: Donatello: You're claustrophobic! Casey Jones: You want a punch to the mouth? I've never even LOOKED at another guy before! It took me a shameful amount of years to realize that this was a gay joke(if even that). As a child I was just confused, considering Casey was talking/looking at a guy(mind you a turtle, but still)

Hace 18 días
ZDuel Mischler
ZDuel Mischler

2:44 haha

Hace 25 días
RCoverC
RCoverC

5:28 can someone help me out on this one?

Hace 28 días
RCoverC
RCoverC

Blah ohhh. never heard that before

Hace 28 días
Blah
Blah

RCoverC Replace box with vag

Hace 28 días
Konjo Akberet
Konjo Akberet

Lmbooo this is disgusting but so pure at the same time lol

Hace 28 días
esther han
esther han

can someone explain the barbie one...

Hace 29 días
Kimberly Kenyon
Kimberly Kenyon

Not a joke but once when I was little I had a cat that liked to be under my blanket when sleeping with me (idk how to phrase it in any other way) and once I told my mom "I have a cat between my legs." My mom understood what I meant but told me that I shouldn't say it. I didn't know any other way cat could mean at the time.

Hace un mes
Steven Aries
Steven Aries

The number 69

Hace un mes
Demi-Fiend of Time
Demi-Fiend of Time

Wacko: GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!

Hace un mes
wawa Elias
wawa Elias

Mexicans makes tamales for Christmas so they have something to unwrap

Hace un mes
October Wensday
October Wensday

My mom was helping her good friend with her resume at her home. My moms friend lived with her disabled father. I was about 11 and was bored watching them type on the computer and walked in the living room looking for something to do.... I found over 10 different magazines of women with penis's.. I didnt know what to think and never told my mom. I immediately put the magazine I had picked up back and walked back to the other room and sat in the corner watching my mom and her friend until we left.. I'm 27 now and still scarred of that memory.

Hace un mes
foxlover1995
foxlover1995

my grandpa did the same thing with the elephant joke but it was when i was 13 so i kinda knew what was going on XD

Hace un mes
Warrior Lover
Warrior Lover

The scouting joke was too much😂😂 And to relatable for me to feel alright

Hace un mes
vampina the thief
vampina the thief

The fact that I'm an 11 year old and get all these jokes makes me question my reaction to sheltered people

Hace un mes
CHRLPTRSN
CHRLPTRSN

I didn't get Lord Farquad until now. (Lord Fuckwad, for anyone who's equally cluesless.)

Hace un mes
Manny Davis
Manny Davis

When I was a kid, I heard a joke on TV (Les Dawson, I think, early 70's.) My parents were there at the time. Old lady gets three wishes, goes for youth, money and her cat turned into a handsome young man. The punchline - "Don't you wish you hadn't taken me to the vet when I was a kitten." I didn't quite get it, I thought he was going to take some form of revenge on her because animals don't like going to the vet. They get poked with needles and stuff.

Hace un mes
Jess Small
Jess Small

When my cousin and I were about 5, we were making a talent show for the rest of our family. However, we only knew very childish jokes so us being absolute geniuses, we decided to search up “adult jokes” so ya, the joke that we thought was perfect was ““hey what are you doing?” “I’m just about to shave my pus*y, wanna come?” “Yeah””. We both got into a lot of trouble even though we had no idea what we did wrong, we literally thought it was a joke about shaving a cat

Hace un mes
KitttyCat Lover
KitttyCat Lover

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. It’s a suicide joke.

Hace un mes
Hugo Schmugo
Hugo Schmugo

@KitttyCat Lover yw :)

Hace un mes
KitttyCat Lover
KitttyCat Lover

Hugo Schmugo Okay, thanks. :)

Hace un mes
Hugo Schmugo
Hugo Schmugo

no, its not. that joke was actually meant to sound like the set up to a really funny joke ending, only for it to have a completely normal outcome. the "funny part" is that its meant to set you up to hear something genuinely funny. the only reason it doesnt work anymore, is that its been told to pretty much everyone, so the whole point of the joke gets lost by people telling it who dont even understand it themselves.

Hace un mes
Margerine yeehaw
Margerine yeehaw

oh. my. god.

Hace un mes
THE KOMEDY KING
THE KOMEDY KING

I never thought about it like that before

Hace un mes
Jay K
Jay K

"C'mon Bart, you're never too old to kiss your father's monitor.. Hey, that's a printer port not a finger hole"

Hace un mes
Limey Figdet
Limey Figdet

That moment when I still don't get some of these.

Hace un mes
Olivia
Olivia

Can someone explain the first one

Hace un mes
Francis Bonnefoy
Francis Bonnefoy

Dabloons dont drop em-spongebon square pants

Hace un mes
brian554xx
brian554xx

50% of lines adlibbed by Robin Williams.

Hace un mes
Morgan Jacobs
Morgan Jacobs

When I was about 5 or 6 I think, my mom told me that my neighbor Julia called her mom a "female dog" and me, being the stupid, innocent child that I was, said, "She called her a poodle?" My mom busted out laughing, she explained to me what the word really meant, and she also told me that poodles have more than one gender. God I was so stupid...😂

Hace un mes
Christel Headington
Christel Headington

One Halloween I was passing out candy, dressed as a witch. Two little girls came up, and when I had given them the candy, girl 1 said, "Thank you witch.". Girl 2 said to her."Oh don't say THAT it's a expression!".

Hace un mes
Sandy BoleYT
Sandy BoleYT

I'm a kid and pretty sure I can figure most of these out so P.s I have an extremely dirty mind

Hace un mes
Jacob Kohr
Jacob Kohr

These weren't "innocent" to kids so much as they didn't understand them.

Hace un mes
BunniesAndBubbles
BunniesAndBubbles

i don’t get the club the seal one can someone help

Hace un mes
BunniesAndBubbles
BunniesAndBubbles

Elizabeth Marks-Graham well i know what a club is i just don’t see how that’s really a dirty joke like it doesn’t seem like a common conversation topic

Hace un mes
Elizabeth Marks-Graham
Elizabeth Marks-Graham

Clubs are basically mini baseball bats

Hace un mes
Elizabeth Marks-Graham
Elizabeth Marks-Graham

BunniesAndBubbles i think it’s in Antarctica or Alaska there’s evil people who will murder seals with clubs for their meat

Hace un mes
Rayne X L
Rayne X L

My grandpa's favorite dinnertime joke, "Eat every bean and pea on your plate!"

Hace un mes
Wendy Muir
Wendy Muir

I still have my old school Mr. Bubble t shirt that says "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty."

Hace un mes
riffmeister101
riffmeister101

An episode of Rocco's Modern Life had a visual joke so blatant I was (and still am) amazed it made it past the censors... So, Rocco's dog, Spunky, is watching a tv show where two ostriches are dancing with each other, meanwhile, Rocco is mopping the floor. It happens that Rocco's movements are mirroring the ostriches' dance moves. Spunky notices this and in Spunky's mind the mop becomes the female ostrich. Cut to the next morning and Rocco is looking for Spunky. He checks various places, each with a comment, like the bathroom, "Hmm, not drinking from the toilet." Finally, Rocco checks the broom closet and there's Spunky. Sitting upright, back against the wall with a glazed look on his face and his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. Next to Spunky is the mop, also leaning against the wall, with a huge puddle forming on the floor below it. Obvious what was being implied but I can only imagine the conversation between the producers and the censors: "But mops are wet, of course there's a puddle!" or some such obvious side-step-the-issue arguement. Just found a heavily edited clip. Has some bits I didn't remember but omits the tv/looking for him the next morning parts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcmGJ35VZHo

Hace un mes
Manny Davis
Manny Davis

I remember Heffer getting hooked up to a milking machine. He seemed to enjoy it.

Hace un mes
Avery Johnson
Avery Johnson

5:24 lmao can someone explain this to me I don’t get it😂

Hace un mes
Antisocial Nerdboy Jr
Antisocial Nerdboy Jr

Box is slang for vagina. It's a cheating joke

Hace un mes
Ashley Nicole
Ashley Nicole

I don’t get the troll one 🤨

Hace un mes
Cute Mochi
Cute Mochi

My grandparents had a p*rn dvd and they told me not to watch it and as a little kid (3-4) obviously I would do the opposite and when they went out, I played the dvd and the first thing I saw was an American girl shoveling a big s** toy up her private part and I was mortified...I was scared for life and she looked like she was in pain, so I quickly took out the dvd and never watched it again...except I still remember now and finally knew what that dvd was about TT

Hace un mes
Jaime Anderson
Jaime Anderson

ba-dum, TSS.

Hace un mes
Kai The Epic God
Kai The Epic God

I don't get the jokes.........

Hace un mes
wesleythomasm
wesleythomasm

The Aristocrats

Hace un mes
Phil Henderson
Phil Henderson

The compensation joke from Shrek

Hace un mes
Robert Metzger
Robert Metzger

Fun Fact: Some of the original Thomas The Tank Engine VHS tapes were narrated by Ringo Starr (The Beatles' drummer)

Hace un mes
Anarcoyote
Anarcoyote

I actually owned a lot of those as a kid.  No-one in my family listens to The Beatles though (I was raised on the likes of Warrant and Blondie), so I was a teenager before I realized a large portion of my childhood was narrated by a member of the most popular band to ever exist.

Hace un mes
Your Mom Yass queen
Your Mom Yass queen

Stop copying DANK DOODLE MEMES

Hace un mes
Caitlyn Carol
Caitlyn Carol

How can you tell a male snowman from a female snowman? Snow balls...I got that joke when I was 6. Yea...I'm a little messed up.

Hace un mes
steve denis
steve denis

Safety Doggos with out hats do the safety dance.

Hace un mes
XtaC
XtaC

I never got that "why is six aftaid of seven" joke can anyone explain it to me? o_o

Hace un mes
XtaC
XtaC

@Sherlock Watson aaaaAAAAAAH ok I had to read it outloud to get it 😂 man I'm fucking stoopid

Hace un mes
Sherlock Watson
Sherlock Watson

Replace the numbers with names. Why is Bill afraid of Jeff? Because Jeff ate Frank. I mean, wouldn't you be?

Hace un mes
This_username _is_taken
This_username _is_taken

Because 7 8 9 As in, seven ate nine

Hace un mes
NYD Trash
NYD Trash

My dad would always make muffins once a week and do the stupid line from Mean Girls about, “Would you like me to butter your muffin?” Yeah…when I found out what it meant…it would have been funny if he weren’t creepy in 100 other ways though.

Hace un mes
NYD Trash
NYD Trash

AcK KK ikr lmao.

Hace un mes
AcK KK
AcK KK

thats.. great..

Hace un mes
Iluvpie6
Iluvpie6

OH MY GOD LORD FARQUAD LORD FUCKWAD OH MY GOD

Hace un mes
COLIN TOSH
COLIN TOSH

Dogs will do anything for a doggy treat and I mean anything

Hace un mes
Fayanora Ahnabahn
Fayanora Ahnabahn

I heard a joke when I was a kid that I didn't get, and so I told some people including adults. I do not remember the joke itself, but the punchline was "the nutcracker!"

Hace un mes
Greyheart Labs
Greyheart Labs

Could someone explain to me the on joke about ‘why was yellow afraid of red? Because of red blue green’ joke?

Hace un mes
Jane Wiery
Jane Wiery

Red blew green

Hace un mes
Lord Inquisitor Shadowlord
Lord Inquisitor Shadowlord

Blow Job (A girl sucking a guys weiner)

Hace un mes
Hailey eagle
Hailey eagle

I never got the EEE humor till I was in my teens but never got to watch it anyways because my dad just absolutely despised the show. But yeah in my teens I realized the humor and how idiotic it was. I was then the one getting onto my younger brother for trying to watch it.

Hace un mes
Charlotte Byers
Charlotte Byers

When I was in 7th grade I was in yearbook club. My friend was in charge of interviewing the wrestling kids for quotes on the wrestling page. She interviewed this one kid who said “wrestling is the second hardest thing at practice”. Later that day she asked me what he meant and I could not stop laughing. I had to explain it to her and then I made her get a new quote from him 😭😂

Hace un mes
Charlotte Byers
Charlotte Byers

Wanderlust I’m- okay 😂😂 so the guy was saying his dick was the firsts hardest thing at wrestling practice and actually wrestling was the second hardest thing-

Hace un mes
Wanderlust
Wanderlust

Can u pls explain it lol

Hace un mes
Cinnamon roll up
Cinnamon roll up

Lmao "a man is not a man until he kisses the lips that do not speak" 😂😂😂

Hace un mes
First Name Last Name
First Name Last Name

Do you like fishsticks? 😏

Hace un mes
The Last Mohican
The Last Mohican

They smell wierd

Hace un mes
bleebleeblahblah
bleebleeblahblah

When I was younger, I got mad at my brother so I thought I would tell him to go away. I said, "go blow Joe". He beat me up. He didn't know that my little brain thought I was telling him to blow away.

Hace un mes
Dexter
Dexter

Eat your banana

Hace un mes
Bailey W
Bailey W

not sure if this counts but when my sis and i were young our parents would play 'save a horse ride a cowboy'

Hace un mes
Kimberly Kenyon
Kimberly Kenyon

Rides to Elementary school with that playing were the best

Hace un mes
Achromatic
Achromatic

As a kid I apparently sang a song with that as some of the lyrics a lot. In public. I didn’t know what it meant of course, but when I finally figured it out much MUCH later on in life I was horrified when I realized what I’d done. No wonder mom always tried to shut me up whenever I sang it.

Hace un mes
André Rhine-Davis
André Rhine-Davis

I don't get the troll one. I get that goblin = gobbling, but why "troll"? Is troll the name of something else?

Hace un mes
bleebleeblahblah
bleebleeblahblah

Noo. they're saying that the troll is a goblin because it's between the legs. So, the troll isn't a troll, it's a goblin.

Hace un mes
DahliasDarkside
DahliasDarkside

My parents and aunt did the same thing with the one time at band camp

Hace un mes
FirstName LastName
FirstName LastName

I don't understand the dime bags one?

Hace un mes
FirstName LastName
FirstName LastName

@Lily Kalasih Oh ok, thanks!

Hace un mes
Lily Kalasih
Lily Kalasih

its about a bag of drugs. edit: spelling

Hace un mes
Lou Cashews
Lou Cashews

Took a minute for me to understand the vegetable and wheelchair joke I am a fool

Hace un mes
Scott Garnett
Scott Garnett

I'm a person with a disability and I like that one.

Hace un mes
I am learning Japanese
I am learning Japanese

Derek Jones think about it a bit more

Hace un mes
Derek Jones
Derek Jones

I still don't:*D

Hace un mes
Xx MayaPlays xX
Xx MayaPlays xX

OMG Im only 11 and got most of these since i spend most of my time on the computer.

Hace un mes
Du5ty
Du5ty

Xx MayaPlays xX ur hard lol

Hace un mes
Alex Ly
Alex Ly

what does the dime joke mean

Hace un mes
Hornet F18
Hornet F18

A dime bag is a $10 bag of weed.

Hace un mes
angel smith
angel smith

I'M 10 AND I UNDERSTAND LIKE 90℅ OF THESE

Hace un mes
Smarties !!!!!!
Smarties !!!!!!

@JabZ thx!

Hace un mes
I am learning Japanese
I am learning Japanese

Nexus VS Games love your comment

Hace un mes
SeasideSeal
SeasideSeal

If you're ten you should be doing something worth while

Hace un mes
JabZ
JabZ

That's cuz your generation is fucked to hell and back and to hell again and then smiten to purgatory and then to hell again

Hace un mes

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