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Fresh AskReddit Stories: --- What joke is clean when told to a child, but dirty when told to an adult? LIKE AND I WILL UPLOAD MORE REDDIT STORIES! # # #Music: Kevin MacLeodcreativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Not sure it counts, since it's not dirty. But from the 1990 TMNT movie: Donatello: You're claustrophobic! Casey Jones: You want a punch to the mouth? I've never even LOOKED at another guy before! It took me a shameful amount of years to realize that this was a gay joke(if even that). As a child I was just confused, considering Casey was talking/looking at a guy(mind you a turtle, but still)
5:28 can someone help me out on this one?
Blah ohhh. never heard that before
RCoverC Replace box with vag
Lmbooo this is disgusting but so pure at the same time lol
can someone explain the barbie one...
Not a joke but once when I was little I had a cat that liked to be under my blanket when sleeping with me (idk how to phrase it in any other way) and once I told my mom "I have a cat between my legs." My mom understood what I meant but told me that I shouldn't say it. I didn't know any other way cat could mean at the time.
The number 69
Wacko: GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!
Mexicans makes tamales for Christmas so they have something to unwrap
My mom was helping her good friend with her resume at her home. My moms friend lived with her disabled father. I was about 11 and was bored watching them type on the computer and walked in the living room looking for something to do.... I found over 10 different magazines of women with penis's.. I didnt know what to think and never told my mom. I immediately put the magazine I had picked up back and walked back to the other room and sat in the corner watching my mom and her friend until we left.. I'm 27 now and still scarred of that memory.
my grandpa did the same thing with the elephant joke but it was when i was 13 so i kinda knew what was going on XD
The scouting joke was too much😂😂 And to relatable for me to feel alright
The fact that I'm an 11 year old and get all these jokes makes me question my reaction to sheltered people
I didn't get Lord Farquad until now. (Lord Fuckwad, for anyone who's equally cluesless.)
When I was a kid, I heard a joke on TV (Les Dawson, I think, early 70's.) My parents were there at the time. Old lady gets three wishes, goes for youth, money and her cat turned into a handsome young man. The punchline - "Don't you wish you hadn't taken me to the vet when I was a kitten." I didn't quite get it, I thought he was going to take some form of revenge on her because animals don't like going to the vet. They get poked with needles and stuff.
When my cousin and I were about 5, we were making a talent show for the rest of our family. However, we only knew very childish jokes so us being absolute geniuses, we decided to search up “adult jokes” so ya, the joke that we thought was perfect was ““hey what are you doing?” “I’m just about to shave my pus*y, wanna come?” “Yeah””. We both got into a lot of trouble even though we had no idea what we did wrong, we literally thought it was a joke about shaving a cat
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. It’s a suicide joke.
@KitttyCat Lover yw :)
Hugo Schmugo Okay, thanks. :)
no, its not. that joke was actually meant to sound like the set up to a really funny joke ending, only for it to have a completely normal outcome. the "funny part" is that its meant to set you up to hear something genuinely funny. the only reason it doesnt work anymore, is that its been told to pretty much everyone, so the whole point of the joke gets lost by people telling it who dont even understand it themselves.
oh. my. god.
I never thought about it like that before
"C'mon Bart, you're never too old to kiss your father's monitor.. Hey, that's a printer port not a finger hole"
That moment when I still don't get some of these.
Can someone explain the first one
Dabloons dont drop em-spongebon square pants
50% of lines adlibbed by Robin Williams.
When I was about 5 or 6 I think, my mom told me that my neighbor Julia called her mom a "female dog" and me, being the stupid, innocent child that I was, said, "She called her a poodle?" My mom busted out laughing, she explained to me what the word really meant, and she also told me that poodles have more than one gender. God I was so stupid...😂
One Halloween I was passing out candy, dressed as a witch. Two little girls came up, and when I had given them the candy, girl 1 said, "Thank you witch.". Girl 2 said to her."Oh don't say THAT it's a expression!".
I'm a kid and pretty sure I can figure most of these out so P.s I have an extremely dirty mind
These weren't "innocent" to kids so much as they didn't understand them.
i don’t get the club the seal one can someone help
Elizabeth Marks-Graham well i know what a club is i just don’t see how that’s really a dirty joke like it doesn’t seem like a common conversation topic
Clubs are basically mini baseball bats
BunniesAndBubbles i think it’s in Antarctica or Alaska there’s evil people who will murder seals with clubs for their meat
My grandpa's favorite dinnertime joke, "Eat every bean and pea on your plate!"
I still have my old school Mr. Bubble t shirt that says "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty."
An episode of Rocco's Modern Life had a visual joke so blatant I was (and still am) amazed it made it past the censors... So, Rocco's dog, Spunky, is watching a tv show where two ostriches are dancing with each other, meanwhile, Rocco is mopping the floor. It happens that Rocco's movements are mirroring the ostriches' dance moves. Spunky notices this and in Spunky's mind the mop becomes the female ostrich. Cut to the next morning and Rocco is looking for Spunky. He checks various places, each with a comment, like the bathroom, "Hmm, not drinking from the toilet." Finally, Rocco checks the broom closet and there's Spunky. Sitting upright, back against the wall with a glazed look on his face and his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. Next to Spunky is the mop, also leaning against the wall, with a huge puddle forming on the floor below it. Obvious what was being implied but I can only imagine the conversation between the producers and the censors: "But mops are wet, of course there's a puddle!" or some such obvious side-step-the-issue arguement. Just found a heavily edited clip. Has some bits I didn't remember but omits the tv/looking for him the next morning parts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcmGJ35VZHo
I remember Heffer getting hooked up to a milking machine. He seemed to enjoy it.
5:24 lmao can someone explain this to me I don’t get it😂
Box is slang for vagina. It's a cheating joke
I don’t get the troll one 🤨
My grandparents had a p*rn dvd and they told me not to watch it and as a little kid (3-4) obviously I would do the opposite and when they went out, I played the dvd and the first thing I saw was an American girl shoveling a big s** toy up her private part and I was mortified...I was scared for life and she looked like she was in pain, so I quickly took out the dvd and never watched it again...except I still remember now and finally knew what that dvd was about TT
I don't get the jokes.........
The compensation joke from Shrek
Fun Fact: Some of the original Thomas The Tank Engine VHS tapes were narrated by Ringo Starr (The Beatles' drummer)
I actually owned a lot of those as a kid. No-one in my family listens to The Beatles though (I was raised on the likes of Warrant and Blondie), so I was a teenager before I realized a large portion of my childhood was narrated by a member of the most popular band to ever exist.
Stop copying DANK DOODLE MEMES
How can you tell a male snowman from a female snowman? Snow balls...I got that joke when I was 6. Yea...I'm a little messed up.
Safety Doggos with out hats do the safety dance.
I never got that "why is six aftaid of seven" joke can anyone explain it to me? o_o
@Sherlock Watson aaaaAAAAAAH ok I had to read it outloud to get it 😂 man I'm fucking stoopid
Replace the numbers with names. Why is Bill afraid of Jeff? Because Jeff ate Frank. I mean, wouldn't you be?
Because 7 8 9 As in, seven ate nine
My dad would always make muffins once a week and do the stupid line from Mean Girls about, “Would you like me to butter your muffin?” Yeah…when I found out what it meant…it would have been funny if he weren’t creepy in 100 other ways though.
AcK KK ikr lmao.
OH MY GOD LORD FARQUAD LORD FUCKWAD OH MY GOD
Dogs will do anything for a doggy treat and I mean anything
I heard a joke when I was a kid that I didn't get, and so I told some people including adults. I do not remember the joke itself, but the punchline was "the nutcracker!"
Could someone explain to me the on joke about ‘why was yellow afraid of red? Because of red blue green’ joke?
Red blew green
Blow Job (A girl sucking a guys weiner)
I never got the EEE humor till I was in my teens but never got to watch it anyways because my dad just absolutely despised the show. But yeah in my teens I realized the humor and how idiotic it was. I was then the one getting onto my younger brother for trying to watch it.
When I was in 7th grade I was in yearbook club. My friend was in charge of interviewing the wrestling kids for quotes on the wrestling page. She interviewed this one kid who said “wrestling is the second hardest thing at practice”. Later that day she asked me what he meant and I could not stop laughing. I had to explain it to her and then I made her get a new quote from him 😭😂
Wanderlust I’m- okay 😂😂 so the guy was saying his dick was the firsts hardest thing at wrestling practice and actually wrestling was the second hardest thing-
Can u pls explain it lol
Lmao "a man is not a man until he kisses the lips that do not speak" 😂😂😂
Do you like fishsticks? 😏
They smell wierd
When I was younger, I got mad at my brother so I thought I would tell him to go away. I said, "go blow Joe". He beat me up. He didn't know that my little brain thought I was telling him to blow away.
Eat your banana
not sure if this counts but when my sis and i were young our parents would play 'save a horse ride a cowboy'
Rides to Elementary school with that playing were the best
As a kid I apparently sang a song with that as some of the lyrics a lot. In public. I didn’t know what it meant of course, but when I finally figured it out much MUCH later on in life I was horrified when I realized what I’d done. No wonder mom always tried to shut me up whenever I sang it.
I don't get the troll one. I get that goblin = gobbling, but why "troll"? Is troll the name of something else?
Noo. they're saying that the troll is a goblin because it's between the legs. So, the troll isn't a troll, it's a goblin.
My parents and aunt did the same thing with the one time at band camp
I don't understand the dime bags one?
@Lily Kalasih Oh ok, thanks!
its about a bag of drugs. edit: spelling
Took a minute for me to understand the vegetable and wheelchair joke I am a fool
I'm a person with a disability and I like that one.
Derek Jones think about it a bit more
I still don't:*D
OMG Im only 11 and got most of these since i spend most of my time on the computer.
Xx MayaPlays xX ur hard lol
what does the dime joke mean
A dime bag is a $10 bag of weed.
I'M 10 AND I UNDERSTAND LIKE 90℅ OF THESE
Nexus VS Games love your comment
If you're ten you should be doing something worth while
That's cuz your generation is fucked to hell and back and to hell again and then smiten to purgatory and then to hell again
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